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Saturday, 17 October 2009
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Currently
Plastic Love Memory
By De-Phazz
see relatedDate and Sign and Hope You Get In
I'm scrambling to get all my applications finished by the end of this upcoming week. I'm waiting for my SAT results that are coming out on Friday so that I can officially finish and that's perhaps the most nerve racking part of all of this applying process. What if my scores don't go up? The nightmares are more frequent and more frightening the closer November 1st gets. I've now finished: UO, CSU's, and I've mailed off my dream school Data Form (pre-app), I still have to start UC's (ehhh...) and I'm done.
My mom asks me every day why I insist on going out-of-state and I continue giving her the same reasons. My dad asks me what my plans are and I keep giving him the same answers. Are they that worried that I don't know what to do with myself after high school? I mean, I'm pretty sure I got this down but not it's just up for fortune to decide if I'll get in where I want to go. Right now I don't mind if I got to a CSU. I can work my way up like I always have and I know I can succeed.
This applying process makes me nervous but I'm really excited about college, I can't wait.
On another note, my nose bled for like the first time continuously yesterday and I threw up during PE. I guess it was the sudden change in weather that made me sick. Also, I got to teach all my PE buddies all the jump rope songs I learned in elementary school.I spent all day freaking about Calculus but I felt like I did well on the daily quiz. Now that I'm out of Chemistry I'm going to put all my effort into passing Calculus with a decent grade.
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
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Currently
Harmonium
By Vanessa Carlton
see relatedChemistry Can Die
And it has died... in my heart at least. Hello, Anatomy. We meet at last.
I haven't finished my relflections entry that's due this Thurday. Crums. Also, I've got a gazillion English essays on their way so hooray to that too. Today I only had Economics homework and so I think I might start finishng some of my writing. Or maybe I should study for those three tests on Friday. Still debating.
It's weird that I finally have a class with my sister. Well, not finally. I just have a class. I swear I thought she had it fourth period and so I decided to go to second so we didn't have to run into eachother and lo and behold, I was wrong! She's pretty upset yet happy at the same time 'cause now I can study with her for tests.... oh, gawsh.
Senior year. Almost there. Just a little bit more!
Monday, 12 October 2009
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Currently
She Wolf
By Shakira
see relatedAttention Whore
I need my parents more than I would like to admit it. But they just never seem to be around because they've always got something else to take care of. For example: their other family. As in, the people they share the same blood with. I'm only half of each one of my parents but their siblings are the same mixture of themselves. Maybe that's why they care more about them? No, I'm just a selfish child that wants her parents to be with her and console her when she makes mistakes.
The thing about being a first generation immigrant child is that you clash more with your parents than normal teenagers tend to do. You're beliefs are shaped around this society where people believe that teenagers shouldn't be considered "responsible enough" and everyone has "personal freedoms". My parents however come from a very old-school mindset where everything they tell you to do is law....do not even try to question it. And I always go and the do the exact opposite of what they want and I end up in trouble.
My parents essentially consider some idiotic adult with no clue about what she wants to do or become in life. Yeah, so that's probably true but they don't have to remind me about it every chance they get. I mean, why can't they just be grateful that I managed to get home alive after being in school for twelve hours. Or maybe, they can congratulate me for getting recognized by teachers for my achievements? Unfortunately, that's not the case. I'm just not the "woman" they want me to be. I can't cook. I'm irresponsible. I'm too "opinionated". I'm too Americanized. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.
Friday, 09 October 2009
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I'm Going Crazy
Today I was locked out of my household for a good three hours. I had no keys because it's never been a habit of mine to carry keys. As in, I will most likely loose them so my parents never bother giving me any. And then when they believe I'm mature enough, they decide to give me some and I forget them somewhere underneath my mattress or some other obscure place that I won't even bother checking.
It also turns out, that my sister was going out with her friends. When she returned, she realized that she too had forgotten her keys. Actually, I realized the exact same thing just about the same time she came home. Last night, in an attempt to tidy up the dinning room, I picked up her keys and hung them up on the key-holder that no one bothers using. I thought she would have remembered to retrieve them before she went to school but then it hit me.... she never does anything that I expect or ask her to do.
Currently, she has ditched me to hang out at my cousin's house for the remainder of this three day weekend while I remain at home quite miserable and angry at myself for not being able to cook and being born without a brain. As in, I'm bitter about having to take a stupid SAT test (again and again) that will determine whether or not I'll be able to go to the school of my dreams..... wish not granted. Yet, I keep pretending it will because I seriously need something to hang on to so I don't feel like I've wasted fifteen years of my life in school (yes, I went to preschool for two years and I actually did homework).
This blog is a taste of what's been going on in my lfie this week. This week=EPIC fail. From family to friends to Chemistry "quiz" to English debate. It's just been a lousy week and I seriously hope it gets better. I pray something good comes out of this because my sanity continues to vanish with each passing day.
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
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You Don't Understand
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Perfect
by Simple Plan
music4ver
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- Name: Marisol
- Birthday: 1/5/1990
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 3/7/2005
Pulse
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Orange juice. School. Sleep. And repeat.
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Thanks Xanga for keeping track of my SAT test dates. How else would I remember? Stupid applications...
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Drafting at midnight is not pleasent. Your brain can't think clearly and your tired of rearranging the same sentence. Ah, senior year.
